Actualidad
By Paula Iudica
If it is still difficult to install certain ideas about the consequences of violence against women in their daily lives, in their health and in their role as mothers, there is even more resistance when it comes to understanding that the daughters and sons of these battered mothers are not , under no circumstances only "witnesses" of the situation they live in their homes, as is usually interpreted, but victims. On many occasions in these homes the children are also mistreated both physically and psychologically by the violent father. On many other occasions no. Does this mean that in those cases they are not victims? It is important to understand that living in a home where there is violence automatically makes them victims. Because? Because the consequences of this situation in them are very similar to those suffered by their mothers. They find themselves in a situation of inequality and asymmetry of power. They lose their freedom, because they must condition their behavior for fear of "bad reactions", shouting, beatings, insults. They feel guilty, they think that what is happening is because of something they do, and they keep it a secret. They rarely discuss with their friends or at school what they experience at home because they feel ashamed. Violence affects their health, they may have problems sleeping, learning, difficulties relating to their peers or other adults, and low self-esteem.
Separation does not guarantee an end to violence. The violent man will no longer be at home, but his mothers are weakened and with all the consequences of the violence they suffered. They face the recovery process at the same time that they carry out the judicial processes that are exhausting. Many times they are revictimized by institutions that lack a gender perspective and that replicate violence, because they act under the macho and patriarchal ideology of the society in which we live. Violent fathers manipulate and confuse the girls, appearing balanced, emphasizing supposed maternal shortcomings. This situation is reinforced and aggravated by the persistent and almost routine attempts by judicial institutions to reconnect the children with these fathers who have been violent towards their mothers and therefore - it is necessary to insist on the idea - with their children. How to approach a recovery process with daughters and sons victims of violence if they are forced to be in continuous contact with a violent father? A violent man, who mistreats, insults, humiliates, degrades, threatens and physically violates his partner, the mother of his daughters, can he be a good father?
Daughters and sons are orphaned, every year, by the crudest and most visible consequence of gender violence, femicide. In 2016, more than 400 girls found themselves in this situation. From 2008 to the present day, the figure rises to 3,158.
It is absolutely necessary that we understand this, that we assimilate that the daughters and sons of mothers who are victims of gender violence are also victims of that same violence. That we accept that it is a serious problem that affects a huge number of girls, so that we begin to take a closer look at the girls, boys and adolescents that surround us. May we be attentive to the signs, and may each one, from their place, always aim to protect them.
PHONE NUMBER
(011) 4701 5890
+54 9 11 4940-7973
Monday from 13.00 to 19.00
from Tuesday to Thursday from 9.00 to 19.00 hs.
EMAIL
info@shalombait.org.ar
ADRESS
Bonpland 723, CABA, Argentina.
FACEBOOK
144 - THE WHOLE COUNTRY
Advice, guidance, information and support for women victims of violence.
137 - CITY OF BUENOS AIRES
Attention and orientation to victims of violence. It carries out home interventions with a mobile team in emergency situations and accompaniment in making complaints.
102 - CABA
Information and referrals in situations of mistreatment and sexual abuse of Girls, Boys and Adolescents.
OVD
Receive complaints of domestic violence 24 hours a day.
Address: Lavalle 1250.
PHONE NUMBER
(011) 4701 5890
+54 9 11 4940-7973
Monday from 13.00 to 19.00
from Tuesday to Thursday from 9.00 to 19.00 hs.
EMAIL
info@shalombait.org.ar
ADRESS
Bonpland 723, CABA, Argentina.
FACEBOOK
144 - THE WHOLE COUNTRY
Advice, guidance, information and support for women victims of violence.
137 - CITY OF BUENOS AIRES
Attention and orientation to victims of violence. It carries out home interventions with a mobile team in emergency situations and accompaniment in making complaints.
102 - CABA
Information and referrals in situations of mistreatment and sexual abuse of Girls, Boys and Adolescents.
OVD
Receive complaints of domestic violence 24 hours a day.
Address: Lavalle 1250.